the best naruto x tswcats crossover fic ever Edit
yes this is an actual roleplay transcription Edit
no it shouldn't exist but it does Edit
The fairy glided through the town, swearing loudly for all the civilians to hear.
Suddenly a shot rang out.
“I’ve been SHOT!” is what went through my head. Of course I hadn’t been shot at all. Oh well some lucky bugger will get all the attention. Probably that brooding drama queen Saske. Better go find him. And avoid that stupid fairy. >:(
“Ooh, motherfucker! Is that GANG VIOLENCE I hear~?!” the fairy cried excitedly. “OOH, YES, LET’S HAVE SOME FUN~!”
It proceeded onwards in the direction of the reports, laughing like an idiot.
“WAAAH my clan is dead and I’m going to WHINE about it Waaah” cried Sasuke, his glistening muscles gleaming in the sunlight.
Ah, crudfingers there goes that piercing cackling again. Hold on, it isn’t just in my head. It is coming from beyond the neighborhood. Yes over towards that glittering beacon. Put a shirt on for a change buddy. I’m coming to help! You will notice me for sure this time~ <3
The fairy came across a brooding boy with the spikiest, most impractical haircut it had ever seen in its 700+ years on earth.
“HEY, NEW FAG! WHAT’S THE HAPS?!” the fairy screamed to socksgay.
“The haps?” asked an increasingly angry sasake. “The ‘haps’ is that EVERYONE I KNOW IS DEAD! >:|”
“Get out of my sight, loser.” Saskue said, glaring at Titania with his Glowing Red Eyes©.
Peeking around a corner...oh my, there they are. How to make the most impressionable entrance? They both appear to be distraught, in some way. I’m sure I can make it all better! They will be so impressed by my calming mediation that I will be legendary for peace between the fairy kingdom and the...what is it? Pokeball Clan or whatever. Okay, here goes...stepping out confidently…
“Hello my Greatest Friend Suskesukeh. It is I to the rescue. I am sure this is a simple misunderstanding. By the way, where are the rest of your clan members?”
Titania licked her lips and snickered.
“Ooh, my~! Someone’s a little, mm...vindictive!” she chimed weirdly. “What’s your name, my sweet emo fag~? SOCKS-GAY?! HAH!” She twirled her hair. “Are you an edgelord, cuz dayum, your hair is SHAAARP :^)”
Sasuksue’s Sexy Sharingan eyes narrowed as the onslaught of verbal idiocy continued. He put his hand on his, like, super sexy sword.
“I’ll assure you, losers, the only thing sharper than my HAIR!!...IS MY BLADE!!! >:|”
Sasuki drew his sword (super manly-like) and charged in a flash of lightning at his two newly found nuisances…
“Sawskay no!!” This winged tramp is setting him off again. Setting him off on another bloodlust of vengeance against the convient overpowered slut-lord hahkatzke wannabe. This is just like that time when ~~~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~~~~ “Hi Sawswaske, do you like school for ninja too? I love skoowl so much. Your eye are dreamy. Pay attention to m…”
Suddenly, a shot rang out!! Whaaaah?? Where am I???
“...okay who the fuck is this flamingo-brained whore and why the SHIT are you trying to kill me, a MOTHERFUCKING DEITY, with a sword?? Are you RETARDED?!”
“ ...well, hunny-bun-bunches-of-oats, at least you’re kinda cute~” Titania slurped unnecessarily. “Gimme your manly sword, baby~!( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”
“YOU! Trust me, you don’t need to worry about that! CHIDORI STORM!!!” Sasuke screamed out in a rage of Vengeance, continuing to completely ignore Sakura's dumb face. His Jutsu rippled with unrivaled force, lightning striking at every point around him. (Also, his clothes tore from the force, exposing his sexy body).
The blinding lightning! The blinding everything! Will my healing jutsu even work on harlot bug creatures? Oh Satsukey don’t get yourself hurt! Our babies need a healthy father with all his legs and arms and ears! I guess I could be okay with a missing toe, or two, or half a thumb. Sure I could always dress him every morning and feed him too. We are going to be so happy…
“Take a wing off for me Sastquee!”
“Fried chicken ramen tonight!”
Titania merely blinked at Sasusususususke, starting to think this really was some huge joke - especially since the ninja “emo kid” apparently had a rabid fangirl-cheerleader-thing.
“O-o-okay, Ebony Raven Dark’ness Dementia Way, calm your tits. Why the FUCK would you willingly fight ME, once again, a motherfucking deity, especially when I DIDN’T DO JACK-SHIT TO YA?! Got a death with or somethin’? Well, not that it ain’t hot~”
Sasuke was dumbfounded, and frustrated (and mostly naked). All of his training - all of his VENGEANCE - just to be made a fool by some, what, transvestite Princess Fairy God?!
“No...NO! I WILL NOT LOSE TO YOU!”
“YOU ARE A LOSER, AND LOSERS...LOSE!”
Sasuke’s hot naked body glowed with a blinding light as the ground shook, his primal roar piercing the ears of those around him (especially Sakura because of her freakish elephant ears). The light grew in intensity before exploding in a cascade of myriad colors before fading away with Sasuke, who was nowhere to be found.
“I see…” resounded an echo of his voice, “So this is my TRUE DESTINY.”
He has become the essence of hotness, The Spirit of Sexiness that resides within us all. Our Lord of Lewdness, Sasuke the Sexy.
“Sahtskae yess! I mean, NO!! Think of the children!”
Sakura fell to her knees. The burning hotness warmed her all around, the permeance of musky angst filled her lungs. But he was gone and maybe not ever coming back, but probably not since this is a filler arc after all. Still this. Is. Her. Fault. HER. FAULT.!!
Sakura rose to her quaking feet, rage boiling to the tips of her peroxide-tinted burhsed back bangs. Pupils, red with anger, she can see it all, she can see this bitches every move, she sees her going down!
*ULTIMATE JUTSU PUNCH!!*
Suddenly, a shot rang out. BUT NOBODY HEARD IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO SAKURA SHUT UP.
Titania was laughing hysterically, up until she heard another gunshot in the not-so-far distance. She hadn’t been planning on hurting the peppy bubblegum-bitch, and was about to simply let the angsty mortal punch her: Up until a barrage of stray bullets pierced the girl’s chest, killing her instantly. A gangling redheaded gypsy man walked over, beaten and bruised. He sighed apologetically and breathed,
“FUCKIN’ HELL THAT KARIN CHICK WAS FUCKIN’ BATSHIT INSANE HOLY MOTHERFUCK. ALL I EVER DID WAS GREET HER AND CALL HER ‘LUV’.” he breathed. “GOOD THING I GOT MY TOUHOU-BULLET-HELL-GUN...looks like I got your friend, though...heh...whoopsie-doodles.”
Titania beamed at her nephew and hugged him.
“You’ve done well, my nephew~!”
The two laughed to the sky in triumph.